Ahh the joys of home ownership. We have been cleaning house for what seems like weeks. We’ve cleaned the storage room, the garage, worked on the yard and yesterday and today I have been painting. The one benefit of my son marking on the walls with permanent marker is that if forced me to dig out our paint and since I had it out, I figured why not touch up all the yucky spots. I’ve painted trim, walls, and doors, it’s amazing what a little paint will do. Our house is looking almost new it’s so clean. Surely I’ve lost wait with all this cleaning and grooving to great cleaning music, I’ve definitely sweat enough to lose a couple pounds.

So I wonder if this urge I have to write is a way for me to avoid reality. I need to find a job, a real job and yet I just seem to get more and more obsessed with writing something. I don’t seem to have a problem writing poetry, I can whip out a poem in about five minutes, but try to write some fiction and the blank page just stares at me. It’s almost as if it’s taunting me, daring me to even try. I think I could write essays or magazine articles, but there’s something about writing dialogue that has me stumped. It’s funny because I read constantly you would think it would just come naturally, but I can’t even seem to get a conversation out. I read the blogs of other writers, fellow blogging writers and I get a little jealous of their progress. One just celebrated the finishing of their novel and I was like wow, I want to write a novel when I should be like that’s so great, I’m so happy for you. Oh well, just some thoughts I’ve been wrestling with, I will write something eventually.

So around 4:30 this morning here’s what I’m thinking as I wake up to the whole house shaking. My windows are open and we live fairly close to the tornado alarm and it wasn’t going off, Andrew is working, so I’m thinking do I call him maybe the alarm is broken. I thought it was just some serious wind. Jack comes strolling in, “mom why is the house shaking?”, I don’t know Jack it’s just the wind go back to bed. A few minutes later it stops and I just think huh weird wind storm. Sleep, Sleep, Sleep. Andrew comes home and I ask was there some kind of tornado or something last night? No, was it around 4:30? I’m like yeah why, he says “all be damn, there was an earthquake, we had calls last night and just thought they were crazy”. Who would of thought we’d have an earthquake in Missouri. I can remember as a kid doing all the drills and people buying earthquake insurance because they thought the New Madrid fault was gonna cause an earthquake. Crazy.

Have you ever had a life experience that changed you forever. Like seriously you think you might not recover from it. It is so profound that everything you ever held true about life, you now proceed to question. Every belief you once held dear has become another doubt your not sure you can survive. It’s amazing how the littlest things in life can come along and change everything you ever believed in. I don’t know, it’s crazy this thing called life. Just a thought to ponder, not that I’m speaking from experience, I’m just saying.

Juno came out today, and I of course bought the movie. I can see many nights of watching this movie. I’m super excited, it’s been a long time since I’ve purchased a movie, but this one’s well worth it.